Embrace being sad!

You are probably thinking Bliss has either 1. Made a typo in their title 2. Missed out a word 3. Gone a bit nuts.   

Who likes to feel sad, let alone embrace it?

“Good vibes only”, we are bombarded with social media of our friends smiling. Adverts selling us happiness in their product : “buy this and your life will be amazing and you will be happy!”

But it has value. A lot of it. “Sad” is actually worth a lot more than “happy” in my opinion…

Happy is great, don’t get me wrong. Life is lovely, you’re having a good time, maybe something or someone has made you excited and you feel awesome.

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Sad – sucks. An event happened, maybe you hear of a death or really bad news…Maybe you’re just struggling with certain situations and things outside of your control.

But being sad has its usefulness.

Yes you can get rid of it pretty easily, distract yourself with some activity that you enjoy, play sport, drink alcohol, chat with friends, watch a funny video – (this still brings a smile to my face 12 years on… 😀 )

Couple it with societal pressure to only show yourself as living a great life, being happy, or at least appearing to be happy to get rid of being sad, and it is easy to understand why we are so keen to get rid of the feeling.  

But whatever made you sad in the first place will still be there. Like when we feel hungry or thirsty, we can prolong it for a period of time distracting ourselves, but we are going to have to eat or drink eventually.

Fear and anxiety help protect against potential threats, we become more cautious and careful and to ignore these feelings could lead to bad things happening to us.

Our feelings, especially sadness, are our messengers.

Our default state is not to be sad and miserable, so like with hunger telling us to eat something before we collapse, we should pay attention to the feeling because it’s telling us something isn’t quite right.

There are a number of reasons you can feel sad- loss of cherished possessions, friends, loved ones, hearing of unfortunate news, loneliness, everyone is wired differently and will be sad for different reasons.

But what we can do is pay attention and learn from it rather than avoid it. Be mindful (learn how to be mindful in my step by step chapter inside my book : understanding loneliness) , meditate on it and use your insight to dig deep into what is causing you to be sad before using this knowledge to go forward and improve your life 🙂

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