When you should give up, and move on.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.Wayne Gretzky
I really resonate with this saying. Life is short, I read an article not too long ago about a woman who died at a traffic light stop, she was held at a red light, lined up with all the other cars waiting for the lights to change.
However a drunken driver smashed into the back of her stationary car, killing both of them.
Wrong place, wrong time and completely not her fault and undoubtedly tragic – I don’t think she could have done anything to prevent such an incident, it’s not as if she was driving down the wrong side of the road at 100mph high on drugs.
Anyway I digress- life is short.
So that job you want to go for, even though you don’t match half the job description and you think your chances are only 0.0001%, why not go for it.
You might actually have a 50% chance as you have the 1 key skill the hiring manager puts 90% of what they’re looking for on, rather than all the other waffle and unimportant but “nice to have” skills that comes with job descriptions. If you don’t send in your application, 0 chance they know you even exist let alone consider you for the job.
The pretty girl you want to ask out? More chance of her saying yes if you actually ask..
But, the question is when should you give up and move on.
Sure it’s fine to send off that job application for the dream job you’ve always wanted to do as a kid, but what if you’ve sent out 100 applications and you received 0 interview invites in return, do you keep applying?
What if you’ve been hanging out with that girl, taken her out for dinner multiple times, but she still has shown you 0 interest that it’s anything more?
Okay with relationships it’s a bit more complex, there’s game playing, power plays, she could actually be interested. Let me adjust the example- you ask her out for dinner 10 times and she rejects them all giving all kinds of excuses, do you keep asking?
Perhaps you are feeling lonely and have tried to make friends, but fail. Do you accept that you will feel lonely for the rest of your life, or do you persevere and try to understand loneliness in order to overcome the feeling?
As a general rule in anything you consider giving up on -there are only 2 main things to consider:
1st and foremost: How much do I want it, is it worth my effort? 2nd hand free sofa – yeah I’ll probably pass.
2nd: what are my chances of succeeding and how much effort and sacrifice is needed to potentially succeed? 99% chance of success picking up that sofa (car could break down), but to drive 200km to pick up a 2nd hand sofa is time spent, and would cost me more in petrol than buying a new 1 and have it delivered = so again, pass.
I’d really like to take out Margot Robbie on a date. I think she’s extremely attractive and a very down to earth woman. 2. Chances? 50% = great I’ll call her later tonight! (okay I joke, it’s more like 0.0001%).
Sometimes it can be quite difficult to attribute what your chances are.
It’s not like the lottery where there is a mathematical % chance of winning.
I have a friend who is extremely average, not the most physically attractive of guys, bit of a quirky dress sense, not rich, but super nice guy.
And he really liked this girl. She had always rejected him and dated a number of other guys but he was always there for her, listening to all her problems, taking her out, best friend kind of thing.
Long story short, after a few years, her latest boyfriend broke her heart. And so she gave my friend a chance and said yes to a date – the rest is history and they’re now married with a child together. What were the chances of this happening..? Almost impossible to accurately say, although I would think this is quite rare. But nonetheless, it is a chance greater than 0.
More famous examples-
Sir James Dyson’s vacuum cleaner failed 5000 times + before it did what he wanted it to do.
JK Rowling (do I need to say what she’s famous for) – 12 submissions and all rejected by publishing houses.
However just to keep in mind, there are thousands, if not hundreds of thousands who have tried 10,000 times and never made it, and still keep failing to this day.
Remember – You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Would you bet £100 , with a 50% chance of winning £1? Or spend 8 hours a day training to run 100metres in less than 5 seconds?
Whatever it is you might be thinking of giving up – just keep in mind how much effort/potential downside you stand to lose by taking the shot though.
But if you think it’s worth it, shoot!
and remember don’t beat yourself up over goals!
(thank you to one of my readers C for writing in to ask “when have you given up on something?” which inspired this article)
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